Jump Then Fall

Sparks Fly

Today was a fairytale

I kept replaying Taylor Swift's new song Back To December all day. I keep thinking of this person whom I want to dedicate this song to. He'll never know, but I will always think of him whenever I listen to this song.

We were in third year highschool back then. He is my childhood friend and our family are quite close. Growing up, I've never thought of him as anything more than a brother, and him, me as a sister. I don't know what changed. It was like one day, I just noticed how much he grew up and I found myself developing a bit of a crush for my childhood friend.

Cellphones back then wasn't a necessity. I don't go around parading to people that I have a cellphone, so when I found out that he also has one, he took my number and I texted him back to let him know mine. And I guess that's when we started to talk more via text. To see a girl and a boy talking at our school back then made them an automatic item, so friends like us didn't really get the chance to talk often. Because of texting though, we grew closer.

To cut the long story short, we became a couple. We were both junior highschool students. I didn't realize it at that time, but it was only curiosity at my part, curiosity that I mistook for my first love. I can really feel that he was serious with me though. He was actually what every girl would possibly want in a guy. I was an idiot not to realize that at the time. He is smart, he always ranks first. He is sweet and loyal, dependable, musically inclined, God fearing and he loves and respects his parents. Just a tiny glitch in his personality was that he was really quiet.

It was happy when it first started, but then I got tired with his quiet personality. I'm very vivacious and I guess I rather talk to vivacious people than the quiet ones. So to again cut the long story short. I broke up with him, telling him we were better off than friends.

I would never forget the pain in his eyes as I utter those words that broke his heart. To have my friends tell me that he was just sitting quietly on a swing, tears falling from his eyes uncontrollably, broke my heart more than the thought of losing him did. At that moment, I guess I could really consider myself a selfless bitch. I guess I didn't give him much importance because I thought I could just get back together with him if I wanted to. But that never happened.

Going home for college here in the Philippines, I realize that I will never find another person with the complete package like him. And, as much as my pride would allow me to admit, I miss him. I wish I could have another chance to tell him how sorry I am to break his heart that easy, and if I, if we, would be given a second chance, I would never hurt him again.

"We" didn't happen on December, rather on September. Still, if I could just change things, I would. If Tswift apologized to TayLautner via this song, I would really, really love to that, too.

I'd go back to September all the time.